Randall Parks full length directorial debut, Shortcomings (based on a graphic novel by Adrian Tomine was a fine, intriguing watch for me. Listening to a podcast this morning unpacking the film, the trio kept referring to the main character, played by After Yang’s Justin H. Min as an incel. Like a healthy Buddhist, I’m not afraid to say I don’t know everything, so in that spirit, let me break down my vision of an incel.
First, based on my image/definition I’d emphasize how serious it is to use the word incel. I still feel like certain words hold a lot of power and should only be used sparingly. For instance, the phrase ‘bad human’ should only be used to murderers and convicted abusers, but I once heard this from a co-worker’s mouth about another employee. No, not necessary. If anything, it’s a horrible blanket. Let’s start denoting what SPECIFICALLY behavior-wise people do to deserve such a term. The C U Next Tuesday term is another one. I know Brits sprinkle it generously as they do vinegar on their chips, but to me, that term should only be used against women and men who are noxiously gaslighting or undermining others for selfish or sick reasons.
Ok, now ‘incel; here’s what I thought it meant which the dictionary I just checked also confirmed: a misogynist who is angry and feels sexually unattractive and hence, rather than self-improvement, decides to take down women instead.
Applying this to the main character of Shortcomings is thus, wrong.
One, he is attractive to the opposite sex, aka his long term live-in girlfriend. He also was supportive of her decision to go to an ‘internship’ in NYC.
He’s NOT an incel because he didn’t like the shallowness of a movie she really liked. That’s called a difference of opinion. He is also not an incel if he watches internet porn. Now caveat, if he is addicted to this OR begins to mistreat his girlfriend sexually or coerce her to get a breast enhancements, then yes, incel. Unless there’s proof that any amount of porn equals misoginisim than we can’t convict him based on this. If so, however, than any femal that watches porn and or does dominatrix style sex demeaning men, should also be lumped into this category.
He’s also not an incel because in each situation where he was in a position ot become affectionate with a woman, he was gentle and/or asking for consent. He is also not an incel because he and said girlfriend were on a break while she was away for three months and he was going to date, ESPECIALLY considering what the girlfriend was doing in NYC. he is also not an incel for liking attention form women. As humans we like positive attention form others.
So it mystified me when the trio of reviewers went on and on about what a vile person he was…he may be tone deaf socially in putting his foot in his mouth and being directionless, but I don’t see him blaming this on women.
Please write me back if you saw this film and saw specific behaviors I did not see that were heinous to deserve the term incel. I am opening to listening.
Now the movie. It was great enough to elicit a writing piece, but I felt and saw acting sometimes rather than people relating. While I did appreciate the acting of Sherry Cola most, I would not say her character was anymore likeable than Justin’s. She was brash, called Justin a piece of sh$# (again a phrase that is abusive) and wanted him to come to her side when she was down, but made jokes when Justin felt down. Still, I appreciated her acting.
Shortcomings, a discussion provoking film
